Children Need a Crisis of Faith

 My wife and I have five children. Our oldest two have exited childhood and are adventuring into the uncharted territory of their young adulthood. Our younger three are navigating the tricky waters of adolescence. As parents, we have the sacred, marvelous, daunting, and sometimes painful privilege of sharing in all these unique life-journeys.
As a rule, I am slow to offer parenting advice. We are still too much in the thick of it to be qualified experts. Most of the time we’re looking to receive, not dispense, counsel.
And one wonderful new source of counsel we’ve discovered is our (now) adult children. Their experiences of childhood and adolescence, and the good and not-so-good ways we parented them, are still fresh. But there’s sufficient distance for them to maturely reflect on their experiences and enough trust between us (thank you, God!) for them to share with us honestly. It’s precious and humbling when your child matures into your counselor.

Where It All Begins for Children

Recently, my wife was sharing with one of our adult children some of the spiritual wrestlings and questions of their younger siblings. Our adult child replied, “That’s where it all begins.”
This was the wise reply of one whose wisdom was hard won. They spoke from experience, having endured difficult and sometimes dark seasons of profound spiritual struggles during their own adolescence. And they discovered in these seasons what nearly all saints discover sooner or later: the Light of the world shines brightest in the darkness — in our own darkness (John 1:5). Coming to really see, savor, treasure, and trust Jesus Christ almost always begins in a crisis.

“Coming to really see, savor, treasure, and trust Jesus Christ almost always begins in a crisis.”

And this has unnerving implications for Christian parents: if our children are going to see the Light, they very likely must endure darkness. Which means we will endure it with them, and experience a powerlessness over the outcome we find hard to bear.
As parents, we spend a lot of time and energy trying to protect our children from the forces of evil and sin in the world, which we should. And we try hard to point them to the gospel so they escape the horrible slavery of their own sin, which we should. We comfort, reassure, and counsel; we admonish, reprove, and rebuke, which we should.
But all the efforts we pour into protecting and teaching our children can make us susceptible to the deception, even if we know better, that if we do our job right, our children will sail from young childhood into adulthood on untroubled seas, arriving with a robust faith in Christ. We forget that this wasn’t even Christ’s own experience in “parenting” his disciples. It was on the troubled sea, not on tranquil waters, where the disciples began to grasp what faith really means (Luke 8:22–25).
Our children may have to ride on a violent sea, one we fear will swallow them, before they really learn to fear and trust Christ. As parents, then, we must prayerfully prepare for when those sea billows roll, because it will be a scary ride for us too.

Faithfully Parenting

While I’m reluctant to give parenting advice, my wife and I have ridden enough waves with our children to share some lessons, not as an expert on parenting through a child’s faith crisis, but as a fellow sojourner sharing from my experience — my own faith crises, as well as my children’s.

1. Expect your child to experience a faith crisis.

Actually, do more than expect it; pray for it. By “faith crisis,” I don’t mean the loss of faith — a period of apostasy — though for some that may be what a crisis looks like. What I mean is whatever event(s) God knows is needed to call forth real faith in our child — a season or set of circumstances when they are faced with a crisis that forces them to exercise their own faith and experience for themselves that God exists and is the rewarder of those who seek him (Hebrews 11:6). Praying for our child’s faith crisis sounds strange, I know. But if we want our child’s deepest joy, we will pray for the testing of their faith (James 1:2–4).

2. Expect your child’s crisis will be different from yours.

God has taught you to walk by faith, and not by sight, in particular ways. But it’s likely that he will deal differently with your child. They may struggle in ways and over issues and questions you haven’t. The unfamiliar may seem frightening. But it’s not unfamiliar to God.

3. Expect to feel somewhat helpless.

There comes a point when God decides to use means quite apart from us to teach our children to trust him. He doesn’t typically inform us in advance when he begins. We just rather suddenly find ourselves on the periphery of our child’s struggles, not allowed the same access or influence we used to have (or thought we had). We’re unsure where this car is going, and it’s not in our power to steer it. We must resist panicking or the urge to try to seize the wheel, both of which only tend to make things worse. Such a moment often becomes a faith crisis for us too, where we must learn to trust God with our children in whole new ways.

4. Seek to be a safe place in a crisis.

During one point of crisis, one of my children confided that they didn’t feel safe discussing with me certain theological questions they were wrestling through. Their dad was a ministry co-founder and bi-vocational pastor at our church. It felt like there was only one acceptable place to land.

“It was on the troubled sea, not on the tranquil sea, where the disciples began to grasp what faith really means.”

Since then, I have tried to share with all my children more of my own faith journey, crises and all, that brought me to where I now am. And I’m seeking to be more explicit with my children that, while I hold my theological convictions sincerely, I do not expect them to uncritically adopt them from me, or necessarily arrive quickly in adolescence where it’s taken me years, and plenty of testing, to reach.
We can’t always control whether we are perceived as a safe place to our children, but as much as possible, we must seek to be a safe place for them to discuss hard questions and to be in process without judgment. It’s not easy for an invested parent. But we must strive to be (especially) quick to hear and slow to speak.

5. Do not mistake a chapter for the story.

We must try to keep our child’s faith crisis in perspective — no matter how long. We are not God. We do not have foreknowledge. We must not assume we know how the story will end. Most biblical characters had life chapters that looked like their train was going off the rails at some point.

6. Aim for faithfulness.

We are not the authors of our children’s story. Neither are they. God is the Author. God does not call us to determine the outcome of our children’s faith. He calls us to “dwell in the land [of parenting] and befriend faithfulness” (Psalm 37:3). Our aim is to follow Jesus faithfully, speak what he gives us to say faithfully, and to love the children God gives us as well as we can, come what may.

7. Pray without ceasing.

Part of faithfulness is not to cease praying for our children to be “born again to a living hope through the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead” (1 Peter 1:3) and filled with the knowledge of God’s will with all spiritual wisdom and insight (Colossians 1:9).

8. Trust God.

This is the beginning and the end of parenting our children, whether on stormy waves or still waters. We want our children to reach maturity in Christ. “For this [we] toil, struggling with all [God’s] energy that he powerfully works within [us]” (Colossians 1:29). But we do not trust ultimately in our toil; we trust ultimately in God’s power. And when our children endure various crises of faith, we “wait for the Lord” (Psalm 27:14).

Where It All Begins

“Expect your child to experience a faith crisis. And expect your child’s crisis will be different from yours.”

So much more can and should be said. I’m very aware that our children’s faith crises, and what has precipitated them, and how long they last, are as varied as people and experiences vary. I know as parents these can be frightening moments because, for some, a crisis results in the rejection rather than the realization of faith. But even then, it’s not the end of the story.
Parenting is not for the faint of heart. It’s for the heart of faith, the one for whom God is the strength of their heart (Psalm 73:26). He is the author and perfecter of our faith — and our children’s faith (Hebrews 12:2). As the great cloud of biblical and historical witnesses remind us (Hebrews 12:1), often, when a crisis hits, that’s where it all begins.

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The Deep Riches and Wisdom and Knowledge of God

One of the highest points in my short, six-year teaching career in the Biblical Studies department at Bethel College was in the spring of 1977. I had spent the entire semester on Romans 9–11 leading about a dozen advanced Greek students through the rigorous exegesis of these three chapters. It was the final class of the year, and I was drawing the final “arcs” on the board to sum up all the relationships between all the units.

I drew one last arc over all three chapters, from one side of the board to the other, and underlined Romans 11:36 as the ultimate point of the entire section: “From him, through him, and to him are all things. To him be glory forever.” Before I could turn around, these twelve students — some of the brightest I ever had (including Tom Steller) — began to sing the doxology.

I didn’t ask them to. I didn’t plan it. It just came out. And that’s the way it was for Paul when he wrote this. He comes to the end of these three chapters on the ultimate purposes of God to show the riches of his glory on the vessels of mercy, and he breaks into doxology as he closes. All theology, rightly grasped, leads the mind and the heart to doxology. The story of God is about the glory of God. All revelation of the ways of God leads to exultation over the wonders of God. That is what today’s final section in Romans 11:33–36 show us.

Today we will focus on verse 33, and Lord willing, finish the paragraph next time.

“Oh, the Depths!”

Verse 33a: “Oh, the depth of the riches and wisdom and knowledge of God!

The riches and wisdom and knowledge of God are described here as indescribably “deep.” Oh, the depth!” means: The depth is very deep. It is so deep that it simply elicits from the inspired apostle, as he peers into the ravine of God’s riches and wisdom and knowledge, an undefined “Oh!” The deeps here are indescribably deep.

“All theology, rightly grasped, leads the mind and the heart to doxology.”

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Three things come to mind with this expression of the depths of God’s riches and wisdom and knowledge.

1. Unspeakable Hiddenness

First, hiddenness. Daniel 2:21–22 says, “[God] gives wisdom to the wise and knowledge to those who have understanding; he reveals deep and hidden things; he knows what is in the darkness.” Notice the connection between “deep” and “hidden.” “Oh, the depth!” means that there are hidden dimensions to God’s riches and wisdom and knowledge. They are deep in the sense that they are out of our sight, unreachable. We can’t go down there. There will always be depths of God we do not know, because he is infinite and we are finite. We will always be seeing more forever.

2. Objective Reality

Second, after “hiddenness,” “depth” implies reality. There is something down there. If there is nothing really down there, then the riches and wisdom and knowledge are not deep. They are a delusion. I mention this even though it is obvious because of how many public sophisticated denials of the obvious happen today.

Friday night I heard on MPR an interview with a woman who with a sophisticated, authoritative air about her, say, “Theology is poetry.” And the awed interviewer said, “That’s a beautiful thought, say more about that.” Which she was happy to do, concluding with, “After all, religion is a human art form.” Frankly, I wanted to throw up. But when the moral nausea passed, I prayed that God would open their eyes so that they would no longer talk like three-year-olds who call their parents make-believe while they eat the supper daddy bought and mommy prepared.

It was not a beautiful thought. It was a tragic and ugly thought. The riches and the wisdom and the knowledge of God revealed in Scripture are not a human art form, and biblical theology is not a poetic product of human imagination. When Paul says, “Oh the depth!” he means there is something down there. He has revealed some of it. He knows there’s more. He is speaking of objective reality — that God knows and we know in part.

3. Ultimate Foundation

Third, the words “Oh the depth!” signify that this reality is foundational. He could have said, “Oh, the heights of the riches and wisdom and knowledge of God!” That would be true too. It’s the difference between the deep roots and the high branches of an infinite tree. It’s the difference between deep causes and high effects. It’s the difference between beginnings and goals.

Here Paul is saying that God is at the bottom of things. It is true that God is also at the top of things. All things are rooted in God, and all things are moving toward God. As verse 36 says, “From him and . . . to him are all things.” The infinite depths are his, and the infinite heights are his. He is the foundation, and he is the destination of all things. There is no explanation beneath God. No matter how deep you go, there is only God. He is the last explanation whether you go down to causes or go up to purposes.

So his initial words, “Oh, the depth!” signify at least: unspeakable hiddenness, objective reality, and ultimate foundation. Then Paul mentions the three things about God that elicit this exultation: riches, wisdom and knowledge. “Oh, the depth of the riches and wisdom and knowledge of God!”

“The Riches”

Take God’s “riches” first. God is rich in at least three senses.

1. God Owns All

First, God owns all that exists that is not God. Psalm 24:1 is the most familiar statement of this truth:

The earth is the Lord’s and the fullness thereof,
   the world and those who dwell therein.

But Deuteronomy 10:14 is far more sweeping:

Behold, to the Lord your God belong heaven and the heaven of heavens, the earth with all that is in it.”

“Bill Gates is a pauper and has nothing compared to the poorest heir of God.”

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So not only does God own the earth and all that is in it, including you, but he also owns the reaches of space and the heavens beyond the heavens with all their angelic armies. In other words, nothing exists outside of God that is not God’s. He owns it, and, as his possession, he may do with it as he pleases. Human wealth compared to God’s wealth is ridiculously tiny and laughable to boast in. Bill Gates is a pauper and has nothing compared to the poorest heir of God (Romans 8:17).

2. God Makes All

Second, God is rich in the sense that he made all that is and can make anything he pleases and as much as he pleases out of nothing. “In the beginning, God created the heavens and the earth” (Genesis 1:1; Psalm 8:3; 104:24). In other words, his resources are infinite because the resources out of which he can make anything is nothingness, and there is an incalculable “amount” of nothingness.

Or to say it more simply, if you can make what you please effortlessly out of nothing, then your riches are limitless, because your creativity is not limited by raw materials. You don’t need raw materials. God is infinitely rich, because he owns all that is, and because he can make more of anything that he pleases out of nothing.

3. God Is the Infinite Treasure of the Universe

Third, God is rich in the sense that he himself is the infinite Treasure of the universe. God does not have to create anything or to own anything in order to be rich. He is himself of infinite value. And since he exists as a Trinity of persons in one Godhead, he has been able to enjoy the riches of his own glory from all eternity existing in the other persons of the Godhead.

When Paul speaks in other places of “the riches of God’s grace” (Ephesians 1:7) and “the riches of his kindness” (Romans 2:4) and “the riches of his glory” (Romans 9:23), this is the main thing: God freely giving himself in grace and kindness to us for our enjoyment of his own all-satisfying glory forever.

Or the most personal and ultimate way to speak of God’s wealth is to call it “the unsearchable riches of Christ” (which Paul does in Ephesians 3:8) — not just riches that Christ gives, but the riches that Christ is. As Paul says in Colossians 1:27, “The riches of the glory of this mystery, which is Christ in you, the hope of glory.” Christ himself is the present guarantee and the future gift of the glory of God. When Christ died, he bought and he became our greatest Treasure. He himself is the gift and the greatness of the glory of God.

“Wisdom and Knowledge of God”

And that leads us from the term riches to the terms wisdom and knowledgehere in Romans 11:33, because in Colossians 2:3 Paul says that in Christ “are hidden all the treasures of wisdom and knowledge.” Part of what makes God so wealthy is the infinite wisdom and knowledge that he has.

What’s the difference between wisdom and knowledge? Sometimes in the Bible they are almost interchangeable. But generally knowledge is awareness of facts and wisdom is awareness of how to use those facts for good goals.

Unfathomably Deep

Paul says that God’s knowledge is unfathomably deep. He knows all recorded facts — all the facts stored in all the computers and all the books in all the libraries in the world. But vastly more than that, he knows all events at the macro level — all that happens on earth and in the atmosphere and in all the farthest reaches of space in every galaxy and star and planet. And all events at the micro level — all that happens in molecules and atoms and electrons and protons and neutrons and quarks. He knows all their movements and every location and every condition of every particle of the universe at every nano-second of time. And he knows all events that happen in human minds and wills — all volitional and emotional and spiritual events — all thoughts and choices and feelings.

And that includes past, present, and future. He knows every event that has ever happened and ever will happen at every level of existence: physical, mental, volitional. And he knows how all facts and all events, of every kind, relate to each other and affect each other. When one event happens, he not only sees it, but he sees the eternal chain of effects that flow from it and from all the billions of events that are unleashed by every other event. He knows all this without the slightest strain on his mind. That is what it means to be God.

“Christ is the final and ultimate meaning of all reality.”

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And Paul says that not only God’s knowledge but also God’s wisdom is unfathomably deep. God is infinitely wise. That is, he has always been able to conceive and carry out plans that have good goals and that make use of all that knowledge to bring to pass what he purposes. He knows how to use all the facts of the universe and guide all the events of the universe to achieve the best end, namely, the display of the fullness of his glory magnified in the white-hot worship of a blood-bought people.

And all the treasures of this wisdom and knowledge are hidden in Christ Jesus (Colossians 2:3). Christ is the Creator of all created reality: “All things were made through him, and without him was not any thing made that was made” (John 1:3). And Christ is the sustainer of all created reality. Colossians 1:17: “He is before all things, and in him all things hold together.” And all created reality is for the sake of making Christ known and loved: “all things were created . . . for him” (Colossians 1:16).

The Ultimate Meaning of Reality

Therefore, all knowledge and all wisdom and all riches originate in him, and are held in existence by him, and are for the purpose of making him known. Therefore, Christ is the final and ultimate meaning of all reality.

Which means that nothing can be fully or rightly known that is not known in relation to Jesus Christ.

“In [Christ] are hidden all the treasures of wisdom and knowledge” (Colossians 2:3). Treasures. Wisdom. Knowledge. “Oh the depth of the richesand wisdom and the knowledge of God” (Romans 11:33)!

The riches are finally Jesus Christ himself offered to us as our all-satisfying Treasure (Colossians 1:27). “Indeed, I count everything as loss because of the surpassing worth of knowing [deeply, personally, joyfully knowing] Christ Jesus my Lord [my Treasure, my Riches]” (Philippians 3:8).

The wisdom of God is finally Jesus Christ himself, crucified and risen and reigning — a stumbling block to Jews and folly to Gentiles, but to those who are being called the power of God and the wisdom of God (1 Corinthians 1:23–24). Christ is God’s way, God’s truth, and God’s life. He is the wise end and goal of all things.

And God’s unfathomable knowledge is also in Christ Jesus. All facts and events arise from him. All facts and events are sustained by him. All facts and events point to him. He is the meaning of all knowledge. There is no true knowledge that is not related to Christ. Every thought in a human mind, or in the mind of a demon, about any fact or any event in the world, that is not truly connected to Christ, is a thought in rebellion against the Truth and against God. There is no true knowledge apart from Christ. That is how radically Christ-exalting all of life should be.

“Oh, the depth of the riches and the wisdom and the knowledge of God!” May the revelation of the Son and the revelation of his ways move you to stand in awe of him, and make him the beginning, the middle, and the end in all you think and feel and do. Oh, come let us worship and bow down!

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