Do You Know Why You Were Made?

Isaiah 43:6–7 

We cannot live meaningful lives if we do not know why we were created. In this lab, Pastor John unfolds a major reason God created human beings.

Principle for Bible Reading

Cross-Referencing
Most study Bibles have cross-references that connect you to other texts in the Bible that relate in some way to that text. Whether connected thematically or by a common phrase, cross-referencing enhances our study when we take the time to look up the verses.

Study Questions

1. If a friend asked you why you were born, how would you answer?
2. Read Genesis 1:27, Psalm 19:1, and Isaiah 43:6–7. What can we learn about why you were born from these texts?
3. Watch the lab. Why is it good news that you were made for God’s glory?

 

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Die to Yourself Without Losing Yourself

Self-sacrifice can be exhausting. It can be painful, arduous, and largely thankless. Moreover, no shortage of people stand ready to take advantage of our willingness to serve. Nonetheless, few messages are more consistent in the New Testament than Christians being known for our sacrificial spirit (Romans 12:10).
A picture intrinsic to our sacrifice reflects the nature of Christ (John 13:34). In fact, in his letter to the Philippians, Paul exhorts us to “in humility count others more significant than yourselves” (Philippians 2:3). How do we do this and not lose ourselves? In other words, is it possible to be self-sacrificing without being self-obliterating?

1. Anchor Your Worth in God

First, in order to be confidently sacrificial, we must rest assuredly in our true value. This may seem like therapeutic Christianese at first glance, but hear me out. Oftentimes people are sacrificial in order to feel valuable — either internally (to themselves) or externally (to the world and to God). But we can never do enough to fill the giant void that the craving for self-worth creates. While we may have moments when our sacrifice is emotionally rewarding, those moments are fleeting and insufficient. We will inevitably find ourselves empty and hurt.
On the other hand, if we allow God to shape and define our worth, we are free to empty ourselves without the fear of losing ourselves. My value comes not finally from what I bring to the table, but from the one who brought me there.
God has made me in his image, a gift unique to humankind throughout all of creation (Genesis 1:26–28). More than that, he has seen me — the very real, very selfish, sinful me. He’s even seen the me that I haven’t seen yet because he knows every single thought I will ever think and every action I will ever take (Psalm 139:1–6).
My thoughts and actions habitually betray my lack of love and trust, and yet God willingly gave up that which he loved most in order that I might be his (John 3:16) — not just some opportunity that I might be his, but the certainty that I would be his and become a part of his family, a fellow heir with Christ (Romans 8:16–17).
That is the place — the place of God’s own self-sacrifice — where I find my real value. And knowing that God grounds my salvation in his own heart to be self-sacrificial is the foundation for my own self-sacrifice.

2. Draw Your Energy from God

Second, we must know from where the energy to be self-sacrificing comes. Too often we strive for self-denial in our own strength. But trusting in ourselves to deny ourselves is an oxymoron. Self-sacrifice is not refreshing to the ego, but often feels like death. And doubly so when our sacrifice seems to be in vain.
While our own effort is vitally important, it is empty without the catalyzing of the Holy Spirit (Galatians 5:22–23). Counting others more significant than ourselves is an activity that starts with, is borne along by, and finds its fulfillment in the ministry of the Holy Spirit. Therefore, sacrifice which doesn’t start with Spirit-dependent prayer and trust should not be expected to yield spiritual satisfaction.
It is often when we find ourselves at the end of our own abilities that God’s grace in us superabounds (Ephesians 3:14–21). So, let us not too quickly withdraw when we find ourselves gassed in the marathon of lifelong sacrifice, but rather redouble our efforts through God’s word and prayer. Through our perseverance, God’s grace may be made more apparent to the world and ourselves.

3. Sacrifice Yourself for God

Third, we need to understand our own heart when it comes to self-sacrifice. Too often our self-denial is little more than window dressing on our desire to please people or control them. When it fails to accomplish these goals, we feel hurt. We may even blame God (which is always sin).
What makes this even more complicated is that even rightly intended motivations are often wrongly prioritized. Wanting someone to be helped, get better, or feel more loved becomes the primary focus, not bringing honor to Jesus (Colossians 3:17). And when motivations, even good ones, get top billing over the glory of God, we are setting ourselves up for the sort of disappointment that leads to weariness in well-doing (Galatians 6:9).

4. Set Boundaries with God’s Help

Lastly, we have biblical grounds for proper boundaries. Not every relationship that requires self-sacrifice is in itself sustainable. If the relationship is with someone who makes a profession of faith, then they too are required to show love and respect, as well as sacrifice (Ephesians 4:25–32). When Christian relationships habitually lack the fruit of Christian maturity, it may be time to reassess our involvement (Romans 16:17–18). That should not end our acts of self-denial, but rather refocus them in areas where fruit seems to be more forthcoming through the leading of the Spirit.
It also doesn’t necessarily mean the death of those relationships. Paul, for example, was frustrated with the lack of maturity in John Mark, and refused to let him go on one of his missionary journeys (Acts 15:37–40). But later Paul counted him as invaluable to his ministry (2 Timothy 4:11).
It is a little trickier when exercising appropriate boundaries with non-believers. On the one hand, we are told to go the extra mile — to sacrifice above what anyone would expect — in order that the aroma of God may be perceived in us (Matthew 5:38–42). We reflect something almost unspeakably beautiful in the grace, mercy, and love of Christ as we lay down our lives not just for friends and family, but also for those who would consider themselves our enemies (Romans 5:8–10).
On the other hand, while we are to be poured out, we are not to be unwisely used up. Times come when we must cut ourselves off from those outside the body of Christ (2 Corinthians 6:14–18; Titus 3:10; 2 Timothy 3:1–9). The keys seem to be sanctification and glory. If the relationship is not helping in our own sanctification and bringing glory to Christ, then it is time to reevaluate.
That said, do not be hasty in boundary-making. It is easy to get hurt, scared, or offended and decide that a relationship must come to an end. Sometimes our sanctification and God’s glory take a long, tortuous route. Let the Holy Spirit guide you through Bible-soaked prayer over this relationship. Making a boundary too quickly can be just as detrimental as not making one at all.
Self-sacrifice is painful, problematic, and peculiar, but it is part and parcel to the Christian life. Understanding where our value, energy, motivation, and even boundaries come from helps us to ground our giving in the grace of God, which is the one place where we will never find ourselves completely empty.

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Tajirika na Kilimo cha Nyoka, Kina Pesa Zaidi ya Dhahabu

Kilimo cha nyoka ni moja ya kilimo yenye faida sana ,mmoja anaweza akaanzisha kilimo hichi ukizingatia thamani ya “snake venom” ipo juu sana.Sumu ya nyoka inatumika kwa wingi kwenye viwanda vya famasia na viwanda vya vipodozi hivyo thamani ya “snake venom ” ipo juu sana kutokana na uhitaji wake. Gram moja ya “snake venom ” kwa soko la kimataifa inauzwa $1880 ,na kwenye soko la Afrika kusini inauzwa kwa makadirio ya Rand 25,000

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MAAJABU YA SAMAKI WENYE NGUVU YA UMEME(ELECTRIC FISH)

SAMAKI anayefahamika kwa jina la kimombo la Electric eel ni moja ya samaki wenye nguvu za umeme wanaopatikana katika  maeneo mbalimbali hapa duniani.
Samaki huyo anapatikana  katika mto Amazoni katika bara la Amerika kusini anatajwa kuwaana uwezo wa kuzalisha  nguvu kubwa ya  umeme mwilini mwake  kwenye ogani maalum za mwili wake.
Nguvu hizo za umeme za samaki huyo aina ya Electric eel zinatajwa kuwa kwenye misuli na seli za mwili wake na mara nyingi nguvu hiyo ya umeme huitumia kwajili ya kujihami na maadui na hutumia wakati akitafuta chakula ambapo hutumia nguvu hiyo ya umeme kwajili ya kuwaua viumbe wakiwemo samaki wa kawaida kwajili ya kitoweo.
Maajabu ni kuwa  samaki aina ya Electric eel anayepatikana  katika mto amazoni kusini mwa bara la Amerika mwenye nguvu ya umeme inayofikia volt 500 na samaki aina ya  Electric catfish anayepatikana katika mto Nile nchini Misri katika bara la Afrika mwenye nguvu ya  umeme inayofikia volt 350 ndiyo samaki wanaotajwa kuwa  na uwezo wa kumuua hata  binadamu   au mnyama kama Pundamilia.
Takwimu za watalaam mbalimbali duniani zinaonyesha kuwa kuna samaki zaidi ya mia mbili (200) wenye nguvu ya umeme na aina hii ya samaki wenye nguvu ya umeme wanapatikana  katika bahari na mito.
Katika bara la Afrika Samaki hawa wanapatikana zaidi katika maeneo ya tabia ya kitropiki na baadhi ya maeneo ambayo unaweza kuwaona samaki hao ni katika Ziwa Tanganyika,Mto Nile  nchi ya Misiri na katika mto Ogooue nchini Gabon na baadhi ya mito katika nchi za Afrika ya kati.
Pia samaki hao wenye nguvu ya umeme wanapatikana kwa wingi zaidi katika bara la Amerika kusini katika mito ya Amazon na Orinoco na ni samaki wanaotajwa kuwa wamekuwa wakiuwa viumbe wengi sana majini.
Na katika bahari samaki hao wanapatikana katika bahari ikiwemo ya  Pasific na katika bahari za  Mediterranean na  Caribbean  ingawa samani wengi wa baharini hawana nguvu kubwa ya umeme kama samaki wa kwenye mito.
Jambo la kukumbuka ni kuwa samaki hawa wenye nguvu ya umeme kwamjibu wa taarifa za kitalaam ni kuwa hawafai kwajili ya kitoweo.
Samaki hao wenye nguvu ya umeme wanatajwa kuwa ni miongoni mwa  samaki (10) hatari sana duniani,wakiwemo  Lion Fish,. Piranha. Bull Shark. 4 Great White Shark, Stone Fish. Puffer Fish, Box Jelly Fish na  Electric Eel.

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KICHECHE au CHECHE (African polecat) ni mnyama mdogo mwenye vituko vingiÂ

KICHECHE au CHECHE (African polecat) ni mnyama mdogo mwenye vituko vingi ambavyo huwashangaza watu wengi na moja ya kituko hicho ana uwezo wa kujamiana mara nyingi zaidi  kwa siku na wana milio maaluma kila wakitaka kujamiana.
Kicheche ni mnyama anayepatikana katika  sehemu ya jangwa la sahara Barani   Afrika,ukanda wa savana na mnyama huyu ni adimu sana  kupatikana katika  misitu mikubwa kama ya  Congo na  maeneo ya pwani.
Mnyama huyu anafanana sana na NGUCHIRO  ana urefu wa sentimeta 60 urefu huo   una jumlisha mwili na mkia wake, na  mkia pekee una urefu wa sentimeta 20.chakula kikubwa cha kicheche ni ndege,nyoka,mijusi,chura,wadudu  na wanyama wengine wadogo kama panya nk.
Wakati wa kukabilina na maadui,mnyama huyo hutoa harufu kali kwa kujamba na kuwafanya maadui kugaili kumkamata  na wazungu humuita “Father of  stinks kutokana na harufu kali anayo toa wakati akijihami na maadui.
Pia kicheche ana tabia ya kuinua mkia wake kwa kubinua mgongo ili aonekane mkubwa baada ya kumuona adui yake  kwa lengo la kumtisha na mara nyingi hupenda kula kila wakati na ana uwezo wa kuishi miaka 13.
Ni namna gani hufanikisha mawindo yake?kumekuwa na dhana nyingi sana wengine wakizani hutumia sehemu ya haja kubwa kukamata ndege au kuku,lakini utafiti unaonyesha kuwa  hutumia miguu yake ya nyuma iliyoimara (badala ya miguu ya mbele) kumkatama mnyama  mdogo au ndege na kisha kumbana kwa ufundi mkubwa.

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He Was Taken into Heaven

Ascension is so important to the biblical narrative that Luke tells the story not once, but twice (Luke 24:13–27; Acts 1:6–11). As strange as someone ascending into heaven seems to us, it is not a foreign concept to the religions of the world. A Jewish tradition held that Moses ascended, and Islam teaches that Muhammad was, for a time, taken up into heaven.

Christ’s ascension is very different from these stories. Whereas the other ascension stories mark important moments in the lives of those men, Christ’s ascension begins an entirely new era of human history.
Even though believers live in this new era, many Christians don’t consider how Christ’s ascension should build their faith and shape their lives. As we gather to worship, consider these three ways we can honor Jesus as the ascended Christ.

1. Listen to the ascended Christ as your prophet.

As our ascended Prophet, Jesus declares his law and gospel through the ministry of the preached word. God spoke through “the prophets in many times and in many ways” (Hebrews 1:1), and Jesus Christ is a prophet greater than Moses (Deuteronomy 18:15–19). Consider how the apostle Paul links Christ’s ascension with his word.

But the righteousness based on faith says, “Do not say in your heart, ‘Who will ascend into heaven?’” (that is, to bring Christ down) “or ‘Who will descend into the abyss?’” (that is, to bring Christ up from the dead). But what does it say? “The word is near you, in your mouth and in your heart” (that is, the word of faith that we proclaim); because, if you confess with your mouth that Jesus is Lord and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved. (Romans 10:6-9)

In these last days, the writer of Hebrews tells us, God has spoken to us in his Son. The Lord Jesus has ascended, so we should not go looking for another new word in some exciting meeting or new spiritual technique. Instead, let the ascension remind you to listen to your risen Savior in God’s word.

2. Call upon the ascended Christ as your priest.

As our ascended priest, Jesus occupies a greater position to help you than if he were still walking beside you. The Bible teaches that, as our priest, Christ advocates for our sin (1 John 2:1; Romans 8:23) and gives his people gifts (Ephesians 4:8).

Christ is not like earthly priests, who inevitably die. Jesus “is able to save to the uttermost those who draw near to God through him, since he always lives to make intercession for them.” And unlike the sinful, mortal priests of the Old Testament, the Lord Jesus is “holy, innocent, unstained, separated from sinners, and exalted above the heavens” (Hebrews 7:23–27).
The Lord Jesus has ascended, so let us not turn to earthly wisdom or human ingenuity for help. Let the ascension remind you to call upon your ascended Savior and priest for your salvation.

3. Trust in the ascended Christ as your returning King.

As our ascended King, Jesus possesses the authority to enact all justice and right all wrongs.
The Bible describes Christ as seated in heaven. But we should not mistake this seated position for inactivity. He is a triumphant king, not a recumbent one. Jesus is still active throughout the book of Acts, even after he ascends, continuing to support his beloved children and confront his enemies. Stephen, while he was being stoned, “saw Jesus standing at the right hand of God” (Acts 6:55). And Saul of Taursus was accosted by the ascended Lord (Acts 9:3–6).
 

 But this king is not only risen and reigning — he is also returning. Peter described Jesus as the one “whom heaven must receive until the time for restoring all the things about which God spoke by the mouth of his holy prophets long ago” (Acts 3:20–21). This king was crucified in weakness, but raised in power. Similarly, he now reigns in grace, but will return in judgment and vindication to consummate his kingdom in glory.
The Lord Jesus has ascended, so let us not look to fallen political or social systems to ultimately solve this world’s brokenness. Lift your eyes to your ascended king during times of struggle. And be assured, your ascended king will return.

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The Suicide of Socrates, 399 BC

On a day in 399 BC the philosopher Socrates
stood before a jury of 500 of his fellow
Athenians accused of "refusing to recognize
the gods recognized by the state" and of
"corrupting the youth." If found guilty; his
penalty could be death. The trial took place in
the heart of the city, the jurors seated on
wooden benches surrounded by a crowd of
spectators. Socrates' accusers (three
Athenian citizens) were allotted three hours
to present their case, after which, the
philosopher would have three hours to defend
himself.
Socrates was 70 years old and familiar to
most Athenians. His anti-democratic views
had turned many in the city against him. Two
of his students, Alcibiades and Critias, had
twice briefly overthrown the democratic
government of the city, instituting a reign of
terror in which thousands of citizens were
deprived of their property and either banished
from the city or executed.
After hearing the arguments of both Socrates
and his accusers, the jury was asked to vote
on his guilt. Under Athenian law the jurors
did not deliberate the point. Instead, each
juror registered his judgment by placing a
small disk into an urn marked either "guilty"
or "not guilty." Socrates was found guilty by
a vote of 280 to 220.
The jurors were next asked to determine
Socrates' penalty. His accusers argued for the
death penalty. Socrates was given the
opportunity to suggest his own punishment
and could probably have avoided death by
recommending exile. Instead, the philosopher
initially offered the sarcastic recommendation
that he be rewarded for his actions. When
pressed for a realistic punishment, he
proposed that he be fined a modest sum of
money. Faced with the two choices, the jury
selected death for Socrates.
The philosopher was taken to the near-by jail
where his sentence would be carried out.
Athenian law prescribed death by drinking a
cup of poison hemlock. Socrates would be
his own executioner.
"What must I do?"
Plato was Socrates' most famous student.
Although he was not present at his mentor's
death, he did know those who were there. Plato
describes the scene through the narrative voice
of the fictional character Phaedo.
"When Crito heard, he signaled to the slave
who was standing by. The boy went out, and
returned after a few moments with the man
who was to administer the poison which he
brought ready mixed in a cup. When Socrates
saw him, he said, 'Now, good sir, you
understand these things. What must I do?'
'Just drink it and walk around until your legs
begin to feel heavy, then lie down. It will soon
act.' With that he offered Socrates the cup.
The latter took it quite cheerfully without a
tremor, with no change of color or
expression. He just gave the man his stolid
look, and asked, 'How say you, is it
permissible to pledge this drink to anyone?
May I?'
The answer came, 'We allow reasonable time
in which to drink it.'
'I understand', he said, 'we can and must
pray to the gods that our sojourn on earth
will continue happy beyond the grave. This is
my prayer, and may it come to pass.' With
these words, he stoically drank the potion,
quite readily and cheerfully. Up till this
moment most of us were able with some
decency to hold back our tears, but when we
saw him drinking the poison to the last drop,
we could restrain ourselves no longer. In
spite of myself, the tears came in floods, so
that I covered my face and wept - not for
him, but at my own misfortune at losing such
a man as my friend. Crito, even before me,
rose and went out when he could check his
tears no longer.
Apollodorus was already steadily weeping,
and by drying his eyes, crying again and
sobbing, he affected everyone present except
for Socrates himself.
He said, 'You are strange fellows; what is
wrong with you? I sent the women away for
this very purpose, to stop their creating such
a scene. I have heard that one should die in
silence. So please be quiet and keep control
of yourselves.' These words made us
ashamed, and we stopped crying.
Socrates walked around until he
said that his legs were
becoming heavy, when he lay on
his back, as the attendant
instructed. This fellow felt him,
and then a moment later
examined his feet and legs
again. Squeezing a foot hard, he
asked him if he felt anything.
Socrates said that he did not.
He did the same to his calves
and, going higher, showed us
that he was becoming cold and stiff. Then he
felt him a last time and said that when the
poison reached the heart he would be gone.
As the chill sensation got to his waist,
Socrates uncovered his head (he had put
something over it) and said his last words:
'Crito, we owe a cock to Asclepius. Do pay it.
Don't forget.'
'Of course', said Crito. 'Do you want to say
anything else?'
'There was no reply to this question, but after
a while he gave a slight stir, and the
attendant uncovered him and examined his
eyes. Then Crito saw that he was dead, he
closed his mouth and eyelids.
This was the end of our friend, the best,
wisest and most upright man of any that I
have ever known"
References:
   Plato's description appears in: Tredennick,
Hugh (translator)The last days of Socrates :
Euthyphro, The apology, Crito, Phaedo / Plato
(1959); Freeman, Charles, The Greek
Achievement (1999); Stone, I.F., The Trial of
Socrates (1988).
How To Cite This Article:
"The Suicide of Socrates, 399 BC,"
EyeWitness to History,
www.eyewitnesstohistory.com (2003).

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Hadithi:Abunuasi na hukumu ya kijana.

 l
Hapo zamani za kale katika nchi moja Afrika, paliishi mama mmoja ambaye alikuwa mjane. Muda mfupi tu kabla ya mumewe kufariki walijaliwa mtoto mmoja wa kiume ambaye huyo mama alimlea kwa shida na taabu nyingi. Hata hivyo mama na mtoto wake walipendana ipasavyo. Hapo katika kijiji chao kulikuwa pia na tajiri mmoja ambaye alikuwa bahili na katili kweli. Yule kijana maskini alikwenda kwa tajiri kuomba kazi. Tajiri alimwambia kwamba alikuwa na kazi kwake na angemlipa vizuri sana.
Kijana alifurahi kusikia hivyo na akamwuliza tajiri kwa furaha.
"Kazi gani hiyo utanipa mheshimiwa? Mimi nitaifanya vizuri mpaka hata wewe utafurahia."
Tajiri akamwambia, "Ukilala katika maji baridi sana usiku mzima, nitakupa shillingi laki moja." Ulikuwa wakati wa baridi sana kwamba maji ya ziwa karibu yagandamane kuwa theluji kwa baridi.
Lo! Kijana hakufikiria angeweza kuwa na pesa nyingi hivyo katika maisha yake. Tamaa ya kutaka kumsaidia mama yake ambaye wakati huo alikuwa mgonjwa na mzee, ilikuwa kubwa sana kwa hivyo akakubali bila kufikiria. Mama aliposikia habari hizo karibu azimie kwa wasiwasi na huzuni.
"Mwanangu sitaki uhatarishe maisha yako kwa sababu ya pesa. Mungu yuko nasi na hajatuacha hata siku moja tukalala njaa. Atazidi kufanya hivyo hivyo. Je, ukifa nitabaki na nani mwanangu? Mimi mzee sasa wala sijiwezi!" Kijana alimjibu,
"Mama usiwe na wasiwasi wala woga wo wote! Nitaweza kabisa kulala kwenye maji baridi mpaka asubuhi na siwezi kufa" Mama bado alizidi kubisha, lakini kijana alisisitiza kabisa kwamba lazima afanye hiyo kazi ambayo itawaondolea shida zote za kifedha, kama alivyoona yeye.
Kwa huruma ya mama na wasiwasi juu ya mtoto wake, alikwenda karibu na ziwa pale alimotumbukizwa mtoto wake kwenye maji baridi kama barafu, Alimwona kichwa tu kimelea juu ya maji. Mama aliwasha moto mkubwa karibu na ziwa lile kwenye ufa, ili aweze kumwangazia angalao mwangaza na kumwona. Usiku kucha mama mtu hakufunguka jicho hata dakika moja. Alimlilia Mungu amtunze mwanae asife kwa baridi.
Kwa huruma ya Mwenyezi Mungu, kijana alistahimili baridi yote ile mpaka alfajiri siku ya pili.
Alikwenda kwa tajiri kupokea malipo yake lakini tajiri akamwambia.
"Hupati hata ndururu ng'o!"
"Kijana alishangaa akamwuliza, "Kwa nini mheshimiwa? Uliniahidi kunipa shillingi laki moja nikilala katika maji yabaridi usiku mzima. Usiku mzima nilikuwa ndani ya maji hayo na shahidi wako wameshuhudia na pia mama yangu."
"Ehe, hapo sasa umenena. Mamako aliyekuwashia moto ili upate joto usiku mzima. Hayo ndiyo yalikuwa maagano yetu? Sikumbuki tukiagana kwamba mama yako atakuja na kuwasha moto mkubwa wa kukupa joto kisha unidanganye umelala kwenye maji ya baridi. Unaniona mimi bwege sio? Nenda zako, sikulipi cho chote."
Kijana alikasirika kweli na akamweleza jirani yake mzee Abunuasi. Kama kuna watu Abunuasi aliowazira, ni matajiri waliopenda kuwaangamiza maskini badala ya kuwasaidia. Abunuasi akamwambia kijana asiwe na wasiwasi kwamba rafiki yake Sultan atamsaidia. Akamwambia aende kwake na kumweleza habari zote. Kijana alifuata ushauri wa Abunuasi, lakini Sultani aliposikia kisa chote kutoka pande zote mbili aliamua kwamba kijana asipate malipo kamwe. Abunuasi alishangaa na uamuzi huo wa Sultani mzima wa nchi akamwambia kijana bado asiwe na wasiwasi atapata hela zake. Kijana alimwahidi Abunuasi kumpa shillingi elfu ishirini akimsaidia.
Abunuasi aliandaa karamu kubwa na akawaalika watu wengi pamoja na Sultani na yule tajiri pia. Alichinja mbuzi akatayarisha vitu vyote, mchele, mboga zikakatwakatwa na kuwekwa kando. Moto mkubwa uliwahswa na kila kitu kikawekwa kando ya moto, nyama ya mbuzi katika sufuria pamoja na vitunguu na viungo. Mboga, mchele, zote zikawekwa kando ya moto na Abunuasi akaenda kuwakaribisha wageni wake. Wageni walingojea chakula siku kutwa hawakuona hata maji ya kunywa. Abunuasi aliwaambia kwamba chakula bado kinapikwa jikoni na wala hakijawa tayari. Itabidi wangojee. Mwisho walikasirika na kuingia wote katika jiko. Walikuta moto unawaka vizuri na kando ya huo moto chakula chote walichokuwa wakikingojea kiko kando ya moto huo mkubwa. Sultani akiwa mmoja wa wale waliokuwa na njaa alisema.
"Abunuasi wewe akili zako zinafanya kazi? Hiki chakula ulisema kinapikwa? Mbona moto uko kando na chakula kando? Hakitaiva hata baada ya miaka elfu. Wewe mwehu kweli kama watu wanavyokusema. Unatulisha njaa siku nzima?"
"Usiwe na wasiwasi Sultan, chakula kitaiva tu! Subira huvuta kheri mheshimiwa."
"Acha upuzi na ubwege. Hiki chakula hakitaiva kamwe. Hakipati hata joto la moto huo hata kama mkali kiasi gani"
"Kwa nini kisiive mheshimiwa? Wewe uliamua kesi ya kijana maskini asilipwe na huyu tajiri nduli alipomlazimisha kulala kwenye maji baridi usiku mzima. Kwa njaa na umaskini wake, alikubali. Naye mama yake kwa upendo wa mwanae, alilala kando ya ziwa akimumlikia mwanae ili apate kumwona tu kama angali hai. Wewe uliamua asilipwe kwa sababu ya huo mwangaza aliyemlikiwa na mamake. Basi na hiki chakula kutokana na uamuzi wako lazima kiive hivyo hivyo moto ukiwa kando." Sultani aliona aibu kweli mbele ya watu hao wote, na akaamuru tajiri amlipe kijana pesa zake mara moja na Sultani akampa Abunuasi zawadi kubwa kwa sababu ya ubusara wake. Baada ya hayo yote kukamilika, chakula kiliwekwa juu ya moto, kikaiva na wote wakala.
Wote walimshukuru Abunuasi sana!

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Our Home Became a War Zone

People thought I was crazy. Why in the world would I hold on to someone who obviously did not want to be with me?

by Judy Rousseau
After 22 years of marriage, my husband turned to me one day and said, "Judy, I need to tell you something. I just don't love you anymore."
Admittedly, our relationship wasn't perfect, but I didn't think our marriage was in any danger. So I basically ignored what my husband, Paul, said hoping his feelings of dissatisfaction would just go away. In the months that followed, however, our relationship deteriorated so much that our home became a war zone, and the stress level accelerated to the point that I asked my husband to move out.
We were both hurting and yet stubbornly clung to our beliefs that we were right and the other was wrong. At the time, it seemed more important to be justified in our anger than it did to try and work things out. Surely I didn't deserve to be treated so poorly after all I've done for Paul, I thought. I hope you can detect the self-righteous attitude, because believe me … I certainly had one.
Paul and I were now living about 40 minutes away from each other. Neither of us had anything good to say so we simply said nothing. My husband wasn't getting positive attention from me and became vulnerable to the affections of a very attractive, divorced co-worker. When I learned about the affair, I decided that it was time to draw up divorce papers. I thought a divorce was the answer, or at least what was expected of me under the circumstances.
The weeks went on and my lawyer seemed to be dragging her feet. Eventually she told me, "Judy, I have to be honest with you. I walk with God, and because I do I cannot proceed with your case. I will not be a part of burying something that isn't dead. I believe if you will be patient, your marriage can be saved."
Never have I felt such despair. What would I do now? I have to admit, the time that I was pursuing a divorce were some of the blackest, most hopeless days I've ever lived. I had no peace.
I sought help from a beloved Christian friend, Jeanne, who asked me, "Judy, if God Himself were standing right in front of you and asked you what you would like Him to do for you … what would you tell Him?" The words came easily as my eyes filled with tears. I said, "I would ask Him to bring my husband back to Himself and back to our family. I would ask Him to heal us and use our family as an example that nothing is impossible with Him." Jeanne said, "Well then, we know how to pray, don't we?"
Suddenly, everything seemed so simple. Within a few days I sensed God telling me, "If you are willing to walk with me through this time, I will bring you great victory … but it will be very difficult."
Even though it was going to be hard, I desired the great victory the Lord promised. God's Word says that He hates divorce, and so I would choose to hate it too.
At first, I expected that my husband would return home any day. I was convinced that God was going to strike Paul with a lightning bolt and correct everything that was wrong in his life. Boy, was I wrong. God began to change me. He taught me so much as I waited on Him, allowing me to see that the love that I had for my husband was not really love at all.
He showed me that He loved me unconditionally, in spite of my imperfections. Could I offer my husband any less? God's truth and mercy exposed my selfishness, and I sought His forgiveness.
Learning to wait on God
When I called my husband to tell him the "great news" that I wanted to get back together, he was not impressed. Paul told me that nothing had changed; he still was not in love with me but rather caught up in an exciting new romance with the woman of his dreams.
At first I was crushed by Paul's rejection, but I chose to continue waiting on the Lord to bring me the great victory He had promised. Now I was able to identify with the suffering and rejection Jesus experienced and how He chose to love anyway. He did not throw stones at the adulterous woman (in John 4) but rather offered her mercy and forgiveness. As His follower, I would have to treat my husband the same way.
People thought I was crazy. Why in the world would I hold on to someone who obviously did not want to be with me? They insisted that certainly God does not expect me to suffer in this way. Even Christians and a pastor counseled me to get a divorce … they seemed to think that God had someone better for me and that my husband would never change.
Yet over and over again, God gave me the grace to put more faith in His Word than the words of other people. One memorable experience occurred one day when I was shopping at Wal-Mart.
The Wal-Mart story
One day, my two youngest boys and I were headed to Wal-Mart. For some strange reason that I didn't know at the time, I chose to go through the center of our city rather than take the bypass. I came upon a traffic rotary which was completely bottlenecked … no one was moving.

I casually looked to my left and saw a motorcycle headed in the opposite direction only a couple of feet away from my car. To my surprise, it was my husband with his girlfriend's arms tightly wrapped about him. I was stunned. Out of impulse, I tooted the horn and waved. He dropped his sunglasses and sheepishly waved to me and within seconds the traffic moved him along the highway and he was gone.

I took a deep breath and told my boys that they needed to help me pray. I began praying something like this …

Lord, what just happened here has to be something that You arranged because even if I tried to meet Paul at this precise spot at this precise time, something would have gone wrong. There is absolutely no reason for Paul to be here right now. Lord, Your word says that You will work all things together for good because I love You and am called according to Your plans, so Father, I ask You to work good even from this difficult situation. Take hold of my heart and make me the person You desire me to be. Encourage my sons to trust You that You will one day bring their father home. For all these things I praise you in Jesus name. Amen.

When I arrived at Wal-Mart, I sensed God telling me that He was going to raise up someone in the store who would pray for me and our family. Hmmm … I wonder who, I thought as I locked up the car. I gave my boys their instructions and asked them to meet me in an hour in front of the checkout.

An unlikely prophet

I stood still for about a minute and a half in front of the lawn and garden department and then a young man passed by. His shirt read, "The Lord's gym—His pain, your gain." As the man walked by, I was certain this was the man God has provided. I followed him, rehearsing what I would say and found him looking at fishing equipment in the sports section of the store. I uttered a silent prayer, took a deep breath, and tapped him on the shoulder.

"Excuse me," I said, "I've never done anything like this before, but today as I got out of my car here, the Lord spoke to me. He said that He was going to raise up someone in Wal-Mart who was going to pray for me and my family. When you walked by, the Lord told me that person is you."

The man jumped to his feet raised his hands in the air and said, "Praise the Lord."

"Yes!" I thought, "This is the right guy." Can you imagine what would have happened if I'd picked the wrong person? Security probably would have put me on permanent lay-away!

The man asked how he could pray for me. I introduced myself and told him that my two boys and I had just seen my husband on his motorcycle with his girlfriend but that I was believing God to restore him to Himself, and then back to me and our children.

The anointing of God came over this wonderful brother. "Judy, you keep your eyes firmly planted on the Word of God," he said. "Don't look to the left, don't look to the right, don't listen to man, don't listen to woman, but keep your eyes firmly planted on the word of God. For I want to tell you, Judy, your husband's relationship with this other woman cannot and will not prevail against the word and will of almighty God!"

Wow! I was so overwhelmed I nearly fell over backwards. I felt as if I was face to face with an Old Testament prophet. He told me that his name was Adam and that he and his wife, Dorothy, lived nearby. He then allowed me to talk for a few more minutes to give him more details.

Adam waited for me to completely empty all the words I had to say, and then this patient man said that he had something to tell me. He proceeded to tell me that he had been praying that the Lord would use his life to help others. He admitted that he had observed God's supernatural workings in the lives of his friends but had never really experienced such a move of God himself, so he had included a special request in his prayer that someday the Lord would touch his life in a supernatural way. So when I approached him, He knew his prayer had been answered.

I just love the way that God can answer the prayers of two strangers through the same set of circumstances.

The words he spoke ministered such hope to me that I thought on them many times during the remaining days of our separation. Several times the "prophet's" words reminded me not to heed the advice of well meaning friends, but to focus only on the word and will of God.
At one point, Paul had become so bitter against me that he turned and said, "I bet you think that your God is going to do some great big miracle in my life, don't you?" Although I didn't reply, in my heart I shouted a resounding "YES!" I could hardly believe Paul had the audacity to say that. It reminded me of the claim, "not even God could sink the Titanic..."
The majority of my free time was spent in prayer and searching the Scriptures for promises. God also gave me several faithful prayer partners who walked alongside me and kept me accountable to the decision I had made to stand for our marriage.
Holding on to hope
Week after week, I continued to go forward for prayer during Sunday service. After several months of this faithful praying, my pastor offered my prayer partners and me the use of our church on Monday nights so that we could gather for prayer.
Eight individuals met on the first Monday night, and the next day I received a phone call from Paul. I had not heard from him in some time, so his call seemed to come out of the blue. He didn't have much to say; he said he just felt the need to speak to me. The Lord used this phone call to convince me that He had heard and was answering our prayers.
After Paul's phone call, he once again went into silent mode. I didn't see him; I didn't hear from him. To my natural senses, it appeared that nothing was happening. However, the Lord was definitely stirring Paul's heart because a couple of weeks later he sent me a letter addressed to "Mrs. Judy Rousseau." Here's what that letter said:

I am writing this letter because I guess maybe this is the way we can communicate. I know I have been a real jerk. I am really lost but I also don't know where I am going. I guess I really don't understand you and you don't really understand me. I know everyone is against me. I don't feel I am 100% wrong in our relationship but I always feel like the bad guy no matter what I do. I've always felt that I cannot be what you need in your life. I am confused.
I want you to know that I think of you all the time and I do love you. But I don't know how to communicate that to you and with you. I don't know what to do or where I should go from here but I really do not want a divorce from you. Maybe you can share some light with me. If you want to write, please write me at my work address.
Hope to hear from you soon,
Love,
Paul

By the time I finished reading that short two-paragraph letter, there were rivers of tears streaming down my face. Not only was Paul sharing with me how confused and guilty he was feeling but he also shared that he did not want a divorce and also that he thought about me all the time. I was overwhelmed with praise and thanks to the Lord for what He was obviously doing in the realm of the unseen.
Fearing God
During the next few weeks, much was happening in Paul's little corner of the world. He came down with a very bad cold that had him absolutely wiped out. On top of that, the stress in his life began to show in his career. Although he remained in the same field, he changed jobs six times in six months.
The medication that Paul was using wasn't working, so he returned to the clinic. After the nurse looked at Paul she asked why he hadn't come in sooner. "You have pneumonia," she said. "Do you know how serious that is? People die from pneumonia!" Paul was given a new prescription and was told that he needed to stay home from work until he had a clean bill of health.
Paul followed the nurse's orders. Over and over again, he thought about what the nurse said, "People die from pneumonia." Paul knew that he did not want to die in the condition that he was living, but didn't quite know what to do to fix the mess that his life had become.
Because he was unable to work, he spent much of his time laying on his girlfriend's couch, watching TV, and drinking ginger ale. As Paul lay there flicking through the channels, he came upon a Christian television program. The preacher was speaking directly into the camera as he said, "God wants you to know that He loves you and that He forgives you and wants you to come home." The tears flowed as Paul felt God's love calling him back.
A short while later, Paul's girlfriend came home and lost her composure. She started screaming, "When are you gonna get your divorce?" and then proceeded to kick things around the room. Paul asked if they could continue the discussion when he felt better, and that really set her off. She came over to the couch, got in his face, and hit him in her disgust. Then she left in a rage.
At that moment, Paul realized that this woman didn't really love him. His relationship with her, as far as he was concerned, was completely over. He thought to himself, Judy would never treat me this way.
Paul cried out to God for help and then picked up the phone to call me to see if I would meet him for lunch. And as we sat in a dim corner of the restaurant, he said, "I'm sorry, I can't honestly tell you that I love you. I wish I could. But one thing I do know is that I fear God and because I fear God, I know that I need to come home if you will let me… And, Judy, if you wouldn't mind, I'd like to come home before our 25th anniversary."
I can't even tell you how I felt at that moment. The Bible says that the fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom. God's wisdom in Paul's life was definitely going to change him, and as a result our entire family would never be the same. Paul came home that day, April 5, 1995, six days before our 25th anniversary.

Adjustments

You might think that once that happened, all our problems went away and we lived happily ever after. But that is not what happened. Yes, Paul was home, but he had become accustomed to another life. Now that he had returned, he had lots of adjustments to make, and so did the rest of us.

In fact, when Paul initially moved back home, we kept most of his possessions in the living room, not because he was planning to leave again, but because we wanted our relationship to heal sufficiently before he returned to our bedroom. We also thought that this would help our children adjust to having their dad back home again.

For the first couple of weeks, he was very tired and weak from pneumonia. He slept a lot as he slowly recuperated. But during that time, Paul admitted he still had strong feelings for the woman with whom he had an affair, even though he knew those feelings weren't right.

For several months, our children were very skeptical and monitored Paul's every move. In an effort to restore our trust, he got into the habit of checking in with us frequently throughout the day. If he were going to be late, he would tell us why, where he was, and how long it was going to take for him to get home. This really helped the kids and me to feel secure that he had left his wayward life behind and that he was not planning to leave again but rather was home to stay.

After six weeks or so Paul started going to church with me (the same church that had started a prayer meeting for us). After attending for a few months, Paul felt it was very important that we return to the church we had attended previously so that the congregation there would have an opportunity to see the evidence of how the Lord had changed our lives. Although many in that church had said they were praying for me, the majority of those who told me how they felt tried to encourage me to "move on" because they thought Paul would never change.

A new home

Not long after that, when we got our financial situation back in order, we started to discuss selling our home and moving to a larger one. It would be like a new start. We looked at a beautiful home, and it was love at first sight. And I had to laugh when I saw the name of our new street. During the years when we were separated, I would sometimes turn to Matthew 7:24-27, which tells of the wisdom of building a house on the foundation of hearing and obeying God's Word:

"Therefore everyone who hears these words of Mine and acts on them, may be compared to a wise man who built his house on the rock. And the rain fell, and the floods came, and the winds blew and slammed against that house; and yet it did not fall, for it had been founded on the rock. Everyone who hears these words of Mine and does not act on them, will be like a foolish man who built his house on the sand. The rain fell, and the floods came, and the winds blew and slammed against that house; and it fell—and great was its fall."

That was the type of home I prayed for, and now God had answered my prayers. And wouldn't you know that our new home was located on Boulder Drive!

Learning to live with each other

As the weeks and months went by, I began to see the changes in Paul and me. Previously Paul shared his feelings and frustrations by exploding in a rage. It actually felt like he was surrounded by negative energy that had formed an impenetrable wall around him. Although I would get quite defensive, I wasn't very skilled at approaching him when he was upset, so I chose rather to retreat and hide until he calmed down somewhat. I handled my own anger more subtly by turning it inward and pretending it didn't exist. I don't think that I need to tell you that this was not a very effective method of communication.

Now, because Paul wasn't filled with his former anger, and I had stopped running away to hide, everything in our relationship changed. If he were upset about something, he would approach me and say something like, "Judy, I don't want to hurt your feelings but when you get your schedule so busy, I feel like I'm not important to you." I had learned not to be defensive, realizing that Paul had a right to tell me how he felt (especially when he did it in such a kind way), and I could learn how to be a better helpmate by listening to those things he had to say.

Now that we were able to communicate without short-circuiting, I asked Paul to tell me some of the things that I had done over the years to make him so angry with me. His answer surprised me. I expected that he was going to give me a long list of grievances but that isn't what happened. Instead he said that he was just angry—at everything. Much of that anger was over his lack of control and frustration over the way his life was going, but he believes that the greatest source of his irritation was that he was being convicted of his sin but resisting it.

Our lives had become so much more peaceful and simple. We were no longer spending our time and energy defending ourselves against each other but rather working together as a united front, appreciating even those differences in our personalities which we previously viewed as incompatibilities.

I love the way my friend, Beth, explains it. She told me that she had been asking the Lord to help her cope with the things about her husband's personality that she found frustrating: his inconsistency with the children, his insensitivity to her feelings, his lack of follow-through in things he had promised to do, his habit of taking a check from the checkbook and forgetting to write in the amount. As she sought the Lord for His help, she heard Him say, "Yes, Beth, I know that Mike is not always consistent. At times he can be so insensitive to your feelings and sometimes downright inconsiderate. I know that he's not especially good about keeping his promises and I know how much it irritates you when he takes a check and then forgets to record the amount. But, Beth, Mike is My boy, and I love him so much. To you, he may not be perfect, but He is My child, made in My image. When you committed your life to Mike to be his wife, I was really hoping that I'd found someone who would love My boy the way I love him. Even though it may be hard for you, would you be willing to be that person?"

In the same way, before Paul left home, little things aggravated me like wet towels on the bed, toothpaste stuck to the bathroom faucets, dirty socks left everywhere but in the laundry hamper ... After such a long season of not seeing those daily irritations, I am now able to embrace those things as clear evidence that my hubby is home.

Even though I still struggle a bit with balancing my priorities, I learned the hard way the importance of showing my husband how much he means to me. Now I want to make sure that I am the woman who is affirming him. Not only does he deserve my admiration and affirmation, but when I am meeting his needs in this way, he is not vulnerable to the attentions of another woman.

A restored family

Not only did the Lord heal our relationship with each other, but He restored Paul's relationship with our children. We are also especially grateful that the Lord restored our marriage because of what that restoration says to our children. When our daughter Korri got married over three years ago, she sent us a beautiful card thanking us for our contributions to her wedding day. She said that if she and her husband ever face marital difficulty, they will do what we have done and ask for the Lord's help because she knows from what happened to us that He is able and willing to help.

We've celebrated three weddings, the birth of three grandchildren and the adoption of a grandson from Korea. I think about how sad it would have been if we missed out on those things as a couple. We also had an opportunity to renew our vows on our 33rd anniversary before a congregation of tearful family and friends.

A few years ago I found a website that was looking for Christian testimonies. I wrote about what God had done for us, and soon after the site posted the story I began receiving emails, phone calls, and prayer requests from men and women hungry for hope and counsel. I guess you could say that was the birth of our ministry. We have such a passion to serve as a living example to those in hurting marriages that divorce is not the answer. Occasionally we travel to share our testimony and music but the majority of our current ministry is through the emails I send out to men and women who are standing for their marriages.

Thankful for what God has done

Paul has been given a very strong sense of gratitude. He might be listening to a Christian song, or sitting in church, or hugging a grandchild, when suddenly his eyes will tear up. When I ask him what is wrong, he will respond that he is just so thankful for all the Lord has done for him. He also frequently thanks me for not giving up on him when he says that I had every right to. When those times come, I get all teary myself.

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She Fed Her Husband Dog Food

This is no joke. Real people. Real struggles. Real reality.
Brett returned home from work one night, took a bite from the meal his wife, Tina, had prepared, and declared, “This tastes like dog food!”
“Fine,” Tina snapped back. “You don’t have to eat it!”
The next night Brett took a couple bites from dinner and practically choked. “What on earth is this?” he said.
“Last night you said my meal tasted like dog food,” Tina replied. “So tonight I decided not to waste my time making anything special for you. I just fed you dog food!”
Many would have said this was a marriage without hope. Brett and Tina were typical of many couples today—struggling through life with no game plan for how they could be successful in their marriage.
They decided to attend a Weekend to Remember marriage getaway because someone gave them a free registration. What did they have to lose?
Midway through the weekend, Brett recommitted his life to Jesus Christ. For Tina it was a different experience. She disagreed with many of the messages she heard.
On the final morning, she stormed out and demanded that they leave. Brett drove Tina home and then returned to the conference by himself.
Over the next few months, Brett began to demonstrate to Tina that he was a changed man. He applied some of the lessons he learned at the conference and gradually began to win Tina over through real love. Tina’s heart softened, and eventually she invited Jesus Christ to be her Savior and the Lord of her life.
A year after they first attended the marriage conference, they came back, walking hand in hand. They still struggled, but now they possessed a relationship with the God who designed marriage in the first place.
Brett has learned to appreciate Tina. And her cooking.
Discuss
If God could change a marriage like this, what could He change in your marriage?
Pray
Ask that God will give you the power to truly live in harmony with each other, in the spirit of 1 Peter 3:8-9.

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Her Husband Wouldn’t Speak to Her—for Three Years

For 20 years, their marriage and family seemed solid. June and Lamar Sims raised their children in church and attended a parenting seminar. But the good life began to change when their engaged daughter revealed she was expecting a child. “That really threw Lamar for a loop,” June recalls. “He thought none of that would happen with our kids.” Lamar became angry at God. He stopped going to church, didn’t want blessings at meals, and removed pictures of missionaries from the family refrigerator. The unexpected pregnancy began a series of crises in Lamar’s life. Over the next several years, he had back surgery, two hip replacements, lost his job, and was forced to go on disability. In addition, a child ran away from home, and another daughter went through several years of rebellion. Lamar’s anger and bitterness increased, and it became more and more difficult for June to be around her husband. Nothing she said or did would please him. After 34 years of marriage, Lamar said he wanted a divorce. “I don’t love you. I don’t need you. I don’t want you,” he told his wife. But June still loved Lamar, and she didn’t want to end their marriage. When she refused to divorce Lamar he said, “Well, just leave me alone.” And so Lamar and June continued living in the same house, but they didn’t speak. For three years. “They thought I was being foolish” During these years of silence, Lamar and June communicated by writing notes to one another and leaving them on the refrigerator door. Even though Lamar did not want a relationship with his wife, he asked her to continue cooking for him. So, after coming home from work, June prepared dinner for him and then ate her meal in her bedroom. This arrangement went on for about two years when Lamar said that he didn’t want June cooking for him anymore. June continued to wash Lamar’s clothes, cut the yard, and serve him in other ways to prevent herself from becoming bitter. “My poor daddy would come out and he’d just cry, ‘June, why are you doing this?’” Her parents and children (who were now adults) begged her to divorce Lamar. They feared she was in danger and envisioned her living in misery. “They thought I was just being foolish.” June says. “They’d say things like, ‘God doesn’t want you to suffer like this,’ or ‘God doesn’t work that way,’ or ‘God gives you common sense.’” Although June realized her loved ones meant well, their comments put a lot of pressure on her. She knew she had to please God and believed He wanted her to remain in the marriage. As June confined herself to her bedroom, she was alone with God and the Word. “I was in His classroom,” she says, “and I had ears to hear. God was in the pruning process in my life.” In the beginning she thought that her marriage problems were all Lamar’s fault, but as she turned to God she saw ways that she had failed her husband. “I had not put him first,” June says. “I put the kids before him … and church, too.” She also says she didn’t show him proper respect. June realized that she had looked to Lamar to make her happy when true happiness comes from God. “Keep me in the fire … ” As weeks turned into months, June focused less on earning Lamar’s love and respect and more on allowing the Lord to shape her into His image. She kept a journal, and one of her entries read: I’m not going to ask You to shorten the days of my adversity if these days mean knowing You better. If these days mean You’re changing me, keep me in the fire until Your work in me is complete … Just give me the grace and the strength to remain faithful and true in You to glorify You. I want to learn all You want me to learn. I don’t want this to be wasted time. On another day she wrote: Lord, I cannot change this man but You can change me. When June found herself dwelling on the things that Lamar had done that upset her she would immediately start praising the Lord out loud. She eventually accepted the fact that Lamar might never be a part of her life and was satisfied with just the Lord. After three years, God had a final lesson for June: dealing with unforgiveness.  In her mind she imagined telling Lamar how he had hurt her. “I forgave him,” she says, “and released him from it.” Shortly after that, she actually spoke to Lamar and asked him if they could get some emergency lights that burned on gas. He simply answered, “No.”  But since they were talking, she told Lamar that she still loved him and had not meant things that she had said in anger. Lamar sternly replied, “June, you think things are going to get better, but they are not.” But June also recalls that there was something different after this short conversation. She sensed a softness in her husband. “June, if you’ve got time, come here a minute” A few days after their brief conversation, Lamar spoke again to June. In a soft voice he asked if she and her father would clear off a hillside on their property where he wanted to plant grass for the deer. “I knew he wasn’t going to thank me,” she says, “but I did it as unto the Lord.”  Sure enough, after June and her father cleared the hillside, Lamar showed no appreciation. About six weeks later, she was stunned to hear Lamar say, “June, if you’ve got time come here a minute.” He continued, “I’ve been thinking. I know that I said things to hurt you and you said things to hurt me but if you want to we’ll try to make a go of it.” June said she wanted to try to make the marriage work, even though Lamar said he didn’t know if he would ever love her again.   “And it wasn’t two weeks before he was calling me darling and telling me he loved me,” she says. June purposefully focused on his good qualities and says doing this revolutionized their marriage. “It was almost like we were in a contest,” she says, “to see who was going to outdo the other.” The more she showed respect to Lamar, the more he wanted to show his love to her. She also made sure Lamar knew how much she appreciated him. “I can’t believe we’re having so much fun in our 60s” The following years were sweet for the Sims. “We thoroughly enjoyed our time together,” June says. “We talked and talked.” They took rides together in a golf cart on their 160 acres and walked hand-in-hand through the woods. June describes Lamar as being more patient, more understanding, more affectionate—different in every way. At one point Lamar said, “I can’t believe we’re having so much fun in our 60s.” “He was always telling me, ‘I love you,’” June says, “and every night he’d go to bed and say, ‘I really appreciate all you do.’” On June 21, 2004, Lamar and June repeated their marriage vows in a pastor’s home—just as they had done 41 years earlier. “I was about in tears,” June says, “and so was he because it was so precious that we were doing it again.” As Lamar and June drove back to their home from the pastor’s house, they talked about the good times in their marriage. In July 2006 Lamar became short-winded when he walked from his parked truck into the house. With June’s prompting, he saw a doctor who sent him to an oncologist, who found cancer in the spleen. “The doctor said his spleen had to go,” June says. “It was six times larger than it was supposed to be.” Lamar’s spleen was removed a few weeks later, but other complications set in and, as June says, “It was all downhill.”  Lamar died from pneumonia just five months after visiting the oncologist. “I wondered why God gave you to me” Realizing that time was short for Lamar, daughter Carol had a heart-to-heart conversation with him. “I know that you know that everybody is a sinner,” she said, “and we need Jesus and He’s the only way to heaven.” She asked Lamar to ask Jesus into his life if he had any doubts. Unable to speak, Lamar nodded. Although not sure when Lamar actually accepted Christ, June has peace about his salvation. During the last year of his life he told June that he had been watching her sleep. “I wondered why God gave you to me,” he said. The next morning he repeated, “I just wonder why God gave you to me.” “I’ve asked God that same question,” June says. “I think it was so he could get saved.” During Lamar's final hours, June and their four grown children sat with Lamar in the hospital and sang songs, beginning with “Amazing Grace” and continuing through every hymn they could recall from memory.   They read Scripture to him and reminisced over the good times they had enjoyed over the years. June remembers leaning across Lamar and whispering into his ear that she loved him and appreciated all that he had done for her. He nodded. Lamar took his last breath at 4:30 a.m. on Monday, January 22, 2007, just five months after he first visited the oncologist. “We don’t want to miss out on what God has to teach us, even during the hard times” June is grateful that she did not divorce Lamar … and so are her children and grandchildren. At one time, daughter Wanda and her husband separated. “I wanted out,” Wanda says. Then she remembered how June would tell her to put her feelings aside and seek what God wanted her to do. “Because my Mama could go through what she did with Daddy,” she says, “[I knew] the Lord would also give me the strength to be able to make it through with my husband.” Wanda has a strong marriage today and attributes that to her mother’s example. June and Lamar’s youngest daughter, Shirley, says that her mother’s faithfulness also changed her life. “The Lord used it to bring me to a personal relationship with Him,” she says, “to start dealing with my anger and bitterness, to bond my husband and me together … and basically turn my life 180 degrees.” Shirley says her mom’s example has caused her to look at her own marriage as a life-long covenant. June’s children have seen what God did in their parents’ lives and they are striving to be what God wants them to be. They’ve all said, “We don’t want to miss out on what God has to teach us, even during the hard times.” Throughout the last seven years of Lamar and June’s marriage, their children expressed over and over how glad they were that their parents were still together. After Lamar died, they all sent June a note that said, “Thank you for hanging in there and showing what real love is.” “He was the spice of my life” Today June cherishes a letter that Lamar gave her shortly before he died. He wrote, “I would like to thank you for all the good and wonderful years. Words can’t tell you how I really feel.  Our love just grows and grows.” In December 2007 June mailed a Christmas letter to her friends and family that expressed what God had done in her life and marriage. “Especially during those last seven years, Lamar and I shared such a deep, passionate love relationship,” she wrote. “He was my soul mate, my lover, my best friend. He was the spice of life. He kept me laughing. “The days and months immediately following Lamar’s death were especially tough. The silence was deafening. I missed (and still do) hearing him say each morning, ‘I love you, Darling,’ or each night, ‘Thank you for all you do,’ or ‘The best thing I ever did was to marry you.’”

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12 Ways Your Phone Is Changing You

Do You Control Your Phone — Or Does Your Phone Control You?
Within a few years of its unveiling, the smartphone had become part of us, fully integrated into the daily patterns of our lives. Never offline, always within reach, we now wield in our hands a magic wand of technological power we have only begun to grasp. But it raises new enigmas, too. Never more connected, we rawing from the insights of numerous thinkers, published studies, and his own research, writer Tony Reinke identifies twelve potent ways our smartphones have changed us — for good and bad. Reinke calls us to cultivate wise thinking and healthy habits in the digital age, encouraging us to maximize the many blessings, to avoid the various pitfalls, and to wisely wield the most powerful gadget of human connection ever unleashed.seem to be growing more distant. Never more efficient, we have never been more distracted.

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Is It Better for Moms to Stay at Home?

Guest Contributor

was a writer and principal executive in an advertising agency when I decided to leave my profession to stay home and raise my kids. I wanted to be the one that nurtured and trained our children, and my busy job simply didn’t give me enough time to do that well.
On the one hand, when I left the business world, I never looked back. I loved being with my kids, and I began to find creative outlets in and around the home. I deepened my prayer life. There were certainly rewards. But in other ways, leaving my job was very hard. Frankly, I really wrestled over my identity.
I worked in advertising for a couple of years before leaving with two colleagues to start a new agency. I was 25. That same year, I became a born-again Christian. What an exhilarating ride! We worked ten- or twelve-hour days, and experienced some success. New business was flowing to us. The advertising associations were noticing and commending our work. We were suddenly winning clients from other cities. I even had a client in another country.
I was a woman succeeding in a man’s world. I was very much “living the dream.” I loved Jesus and being a Christian, but my primary identity was “successful professional.” My work was the main source of my personal sense of affirmation and accomplishment. I could exercise control, see results on a regular basis, and be rewarded for it, both with recognition and compensation.

Less Than My Best

A few years later, I married a wonderful guy (who happened to be one of my business partners!), and before long we had a son. I tried working part-time and was (as I know so many women are) torn and guilty much of the time. I felt like I was giving less than my best both places.
Then another son was born. I didn’t last a week at the part-time job. Even though our income was slashed, and severe budgeting became a reality, I decided to go home for good. On top of losing an income, my husband and I also felt called to begin giving 10% of what we earned to the church. While we remained in a small home with old carpet and sacrificed many “nice things,” by God’s grace, we never missed the money.

“I’m Just a Mom”

I loved so much about being at home. I loved being the main nurturer of my babies. I loved witnessing their “firsts.” I loved the bonding happening with my boys. I loved sharing Jesus with our kids, and teaching them to love him. I loved being able to get to know some moms in the neighborhood. I loved the opportunity to do a little sewing and to learn how to cook.
But there were also things I didn’t love. I didn’t like that nothing was ever done. At work, I finished projects. At home, I could work the whole day, and at the end there was absolutely no evidence I had done anything at all. There was always more laundry to do, another mess in the living room, another meal to fix, another diaper to change. At work, I could tell when I was doing a good job. At home, I struggled to have confidence in my abilities. I was pouring into my kids, but the changes were so incremental I couldn’t tell if anything I was teaching them was taking hold. Was the investment of my time and energy really making a difference?
But it was worse than that. At home, it often seemed like nobody noticed or applauded anything I did. At work, I had been a shining young professional helping people be successful and businesses grow. I had a portfolio! I was moving up! I was important! Now I was that poor woman you see at the grocery store who’s obviously not had time to take a shower or fix her hair, dressed in rumpled clothing, looking exhausted as she denies her toddler yet one more sugary treat.
If I went to a professional event with my husband and someone asked me what I did, I cringed and said, “I’m just a mom.”

Work That Lasts

Many years later, it embarrasses me to see how much value I placed on man-centered achievement and applause. I was a sincere Christian with a growing relationship with Jesus, I was teaching my children about him with joy, but I had not yet learned to find my value and worth in him. And I had not yet learned which things have eternal value, and which will soon be forgotten.
If I were to trot out any of the “spectacular” work I did in my business days, it would look hopelessly outdated and irrelevant today. On the other hand, when I look at my sons, God shows me priceless evidence and rewards for the sacrifices and investments I made in their growing up years.
Of course, I am not saying it is bad to work in the business world or in any job. Far from it! Jobs of all kinds are the wonderful way God provides for people all over the earth. And God calls many women to work outside the home — even those who have small children.
Proverbs 31 extols a woman who deftly balances business interests outside the home while providing care and nurture to her family. (I would point out, however, that even for her, there doesn’t seem to be much time to sleep!) The work itself is not bad — even though most of it is going to pass away.

A Mother’s Worth

The problem for me was when my work became my identity, when my work was the source of my “self-esteem” and made me feel more “important,” when my work seemed more worthy because it was more interesting on a day-to-day basis, when my work was necessary for approval, praise and applause.
God tells me he loved me and chose me to be his daughter before the foundation of the world, whether I work at home or on Wall Street (Ephesians 1:3–4). He says that though I am clearly a sinner rebelling against a holy God (Romans 3:23), by Jesus’s sacrifice, I am forgiven, bought, and paid for — regardless of whether I am a barista or at home changing diapers (Ephesians 1:7–8; Romans 5:8; 1 Corinthians 7:23). As a born-again child of God, I am an heir with Christ of all things, whether I oversee a team of a hundred or a nest of three (Romans 8:14–17; Hebrews 1:2). In light of all of this, I was irrational to look for earthly applause to make me feel valued and of worth.

Do not love the world or the things in the world. If anyone loves the world, the love of the Father is not in him. For all that is in the world — the desires of the flesh and the desires of the eyes and pride of life — is not from the Father but is from the world. And the world is passing away along with its desires, but whoever does the will of God abides forever. (1 John 2:15–17)

Better to Stay at Home?

Is it better for moms to stay at home? I don’t pretend to have the definitive answer to that question, or to know God’s will for other women. But I do encourage young moms to consider their reasons for wanting to work outside the home. If your income is needed to put food on the table and clothes on the backs of your family, you may well need to work outside the home.
My heart breaks for moms who would give anything to be able to be home with their kids, but circumstances of all kinds keep them in the workplace. If this is you, know that God knows your heart, that he has called you to the work he is giving you, and that he will bless your family even as you are obedient to him in these hard things. There may be other legitimate reasons God is sincerely and surely calling you to make the sacrifice to work outside the home. The most important thing is to seek him and be obedient to the call he is giving you.
But if you are working outside the home mainly because it makes you feel good about yourself, or because you really enjoy it, or because it seems more interesting, you may need to pray about whether this is really God’s call on your life — or whether selfish interests are guiding your decisions.

Stay and Make Disciples

Over the years, I learned that my life at home did not have to be boring. I came to appreciate that the things I was doing were of lasting importance, and that doing them well made a difference. God tackled the immense pride in my heart, and used my time at home with my children to begin cultivating the fruit of the Spirit in me. Best of all, throughout those years, my greatest treasure became Jesus.
Jesus told us to make disciples, and raising children is the most concentrated opportunity we have to obey that command. As I look back on my life as a mom at home, I know I never will regret the moments that I spent nurturing, teaching, and playing with my kids. It was a true privilege to have a central role in discipling my children in each phase of their development. I am so grateful God made that possible for me and for our family.

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