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» The solutions for solving marriage problems
Marriage is the most intimate relationship
two human beings can experience, second only to a relationship with God.
Marriage brings out the best and the worst in most people, as two
separate individuals struggle to live as "one flesh" (Matthew 19:6; Mark 10:8).
At the root of most marriage problems is selfishness. When one or both
partners choose to live as though his or her needs deserve top
consideration, conflict results.
There are specific verses that address behavior of both husbands and wives. Some of those are 1 Peter 3:1-8, Colossians 3:18-19, and Titus 2:3-5. Although not addressing marriage directly, Philippians 2:3-13
is an excellent recipe for resolving marriage problems. This passage
tells us to adopt the attitude Christ demonstrated when He set aside His
rights and privileges as the Son of God and came to earth as a humble
servant. Verses 3 and 4 say, "Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain
conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves. Each
of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the
interests of others." When that exhortation is applied to marriage,
almost any obstacle can be overcome.
Certainly, seeking counsel from a pastor or Christian marriage counselor is a biblical thing to do (Proverbs 19:20).
Getting counseling is an excellent way to clear misconceptions about
marriage roles, to see a situation from another viewpoint, and to
distinguish between God’s standards and those of the world.
Ephesians 5:21-33
gives specific instructions for both husbands and wives. A husband is
to love his wife "as
Christ loves the church and gave Himself for her"
(verse 25). Such self-sacrificing love creates an atmosphere in which a
wife can more easily submit to her husband's leadership. When a husband
is committed to demonstrating love for his wife, and a wife is committed
to graciously allowing her husband to lead, the marriage will work.
It is also wise to pay close attention to the verses just before the
specific marriage instructions. Verses 18-21 say, "Do not get drunk with
wine, for that is dissipation, but be filled with the Spirit, speaking
to one another in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing and
making melody with your heart to the Lord; always giving thanks for all
things in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ to God, even the Father; and
be subject to one another in the fear of Christ."
Notice all the commands that precede the marriage instruction. All Christians are to
• refuse to get drunk
• be filled with the Spirit
• encourage each other
• sing hymns and songs of praise
• have an attitude of continual worship
• live in a spirit of gratitude
• submit graciously to each other
We miss vital truth when we skip straight to the marriage instruction
without applying the practical guidelines in the preceding verses. When
each spouse applies those truths to his or her personal life and strives
to make his or her relationship with the Lord the primary focus,
marriage problems take a back seat. When two committed Christians
purpose to seek God's heart and follow His will no matter what, there is
no problem that they cannot work through.
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