The self-esteem movement as we know
it really began when Adam and Eve ate
the fruit in Eden.
Before that, self-esteem wasn’t an
issue. Adam and Eve were not lost, and
so had no need to “find themselves.”
They had healthy self-esteem because
they knew God and esteemed him
above all things, certainly above
themselves. This made them healthy
selves, secure in their identity as
children of God and complementary
members of each other. Their self-
esteem was rooted in a glorious
humility, and defined and experienced
in a God-designed community where
they both knew and were known by
God.
But that changed when they (and all of
us since) detached themselves from God
in their effort to be “like
God” (Genesis 3:5 ). Self-esteem became
rooted in pride, and seeking it became
infected with selfish ambition. It
mutated from a God-glorifying,
complementary pursuit into a self-
glorifying, competitive pursuit.
Looking in the Wrong
Places
Around the turn of the twentieth
century, theories of “self-esteem”
emerged in the realms of psychology,
and by the 1960s self-esteem was
accepted by Western popular culture as
one of the primary roots of mental
health .
But because it didn’t address the
fundamental problem — detachment
from God — after more than fifty years
of trying to apply self-esteem as a
remedy for our identity-ailments, we
find ourselves only more isolated as
individuals and our relationships,
communities, and societies only more
fractured. And that’s because we’re
looking for our self-worth in the wrong
places, and for the wrong reasons.
We tend to think self-esteem comes
from each of us being a star shining
forth our own unique glory. The way
we measure our glory is in how it is
reflected back to us in the approval and
admiration of others. We figure the
more approval and admiration, the
brighter our glory, and the greater our
self-esteem. But anyone who’s really
experienced those things knows this is
not true.
Healthy self-esteem doesn’t come from
prominence; it comes from being who
we are designed to be. And we’re not
designed to be stars; we’re designed to
be parts of an organism. We see this in
Romans 12:3–6 :
By the grace given to me I say to
everyone among you not to think
of himself more highly than he
ought to think, but to think with
sober judgment, each according to
the measure of faith that God has
assigned. For as in one body we
have many members, and the
members do not all have the same
function, so we, though many, are
one body in Christ, and
individually members one of
another. Having gifts that differ
according to the grace given to us,
let us use them.
Where We Find Ourselves
A body is Paul’s favorite metaphor for
the church because it so beautifully
illustrates who we are in relation to
God and one another. Jesus is our head
( Ephesians 5:23 ), and we are all
members or parts of his body.
It all begins with grace: “by the grace
given to us” (Romans 12:3 , 6 ). None of
us deserves our “membership” in the
body. It comes to us from God as an
incredible gift of his grace through faith
in Christ.
Neither do we choose what parts of
Christ’s body we’ll be. God assigns us
our roles (Romans 12:3 ;
1 Corinthians 12:18 ). He places us just
where he wants us for the purposes he
has planned. Therefore each of us is
needed where God has placed us.
And “as in one body we have many
members, and the members do not all
have the same function, so we, though
many, are one body in Christ, and
individually members one of
another” ( Romans 12:4–5 ). Just like a
human body, no particular part of
Christ’s body is more or less important
based on how visibly prominent its role
( 1 Corinthians 12:22–24 ). None of us
can do without the other
( 1 Corinthians 12:15–16 ). We are each
very limited in what we can do and
therefore beautifully interdependent
upon each other.
That’s why, when trying to discern
God’s will for our lives, we get
confused if we look at ourselves in
isolation. Just like a body part separated
from the body looks strange, so do we
out of the context of the church. It
takes the body of Christ to understand
the function of a part, and it takes all
the parts working together to make the
body function.
Sober About Ourselves
Understanding and believing that our
unique place in the body of Christ is a
gracious, sovereign gift to us from God,
that it’s function is crucial for the good
of others, and that their function is
crucial for our good is what “sober
judgment” looks like ( Romans 12:3 ).
Pride is the knife that dissects the body
of Christ into isolated parts to
determine the value of each. The pride
of conceit makes us consider our role
or function more important than
others. The pride of envy makes us
covet the function of a part we
consider better than our own
( 1 Corinthians 12:23–24 ).
But humility helps us see our function
in relation to God and others. It unites
the body because we don’t “think of
[ourselves] more highly than [we]
ought to think” ( Romans 12:3 ). In fact,
because we more clearly see how
others benefit the body than we see
how we benefit the body, humility
causes us to think of others more
significant than ourselves
( Philippians 2:3 ).
And yet, our humbled and sobered mind
still sees our identity and function in
Christ’s body as a divine calling with
more significance and nobility than any
achievement or promotion in this
world.
Healthy Self-Esteem
Only God could create such a glorious
design, where each of us, no matter
what our function in the body, can
experience the beautiful depths of
humility in receiving our calling as
undeserved grace, while at the same
time having it be more exalted and
infused with meaning and dignity than
we yet have capacity to comprehend.
Humility and exaltation: it is God’s way
( 1 Peter 5:6 ); it is Christ’s way
( Philippians 2:5–11 ). In Christ, God
once again calls us to find security in
our identity as his children —
esteeming him supremely — and as
complementary members of one
another— esteeming others more than
ourselves.
This is where we find the restoration of
healthy self-esteem: in a glorious
humility and defined and experienced
in a God-designed organic community
— a community in which we know God
and know each other: the body of
Christ.
